Being of Vietnamese heritage of this generation is a mixed bag. 

On the one hand, the whole world remembers Vietnam for being the country which humbled a superpower. People with an uncomplicated knowledge of the conflict consider it to be simply that. 

It was actually a civil war though, and civil wars, more than other wars, are heartbreaking as they turn a country in on itself. 

So while there’s some pride in simply being Vietnamese and having that heritage of a supposedly heroic struggle and victory… being of the Vietnamese diaspora means that you’re actually part of the defeated side of the war, that had sided with America. 

So the pride, in a sense, is bittersweet. 

It’s also difficult to ask your family members about it, because they remember the war more vividly, and having been on the defeated side, potentially bitterly. 

Thankfully, my dad is a hobby historian, and sometimes is able to detach himself from it. He doesn’t like to watch movies like “Platoon” though, since they hit a little too close to home. But I asked him about it today. 

I have mentioned before that my grandfather on my mom’s side was an officer in South Vietnam. He attained the rank of colonel and trained in their special forces. I’ve learned that his family was originally from the north, but in 1956, after the Vietnamese victory over the French, he moved them south to escape Communist rule after the division into North and South. 

His work eventually got him to be a Military Attache, which attached him to the diplomatic corps of South Vietnam. This is what brought his family to live in Kuala Lumpur for a few years. He was even posted to Paris during the later peace talks. My mother, who was studying in Boston by that point, managed to visit him once, and this was her first trip to Europe. 

Since he was so involved with diplomats, he found protocol to be extremely important. As such he drilled the importance of courtesy and table manners to his kids, and my mother has continued in that tradition. 

My grandfather on my dad’s side was a tax man, but my grandmother was a businesswoman. He tells me she had various investments in import and export, though mostly import since there wasn’t a lot to export. It sounded a little sketchy, but if there were more to it I don’t think he knew. 

In any case, when the Americans arrived in Vietnam, she saw a business opportunity in buying a building and renting it to the Americans as a barracks. After they left in 1972, she turned it into a hotel. It stood about a block behind their townhouse where they lived. 

One of the times I went to Vietnam with my family, my dad pointed out their old hotel. I don’t recall which one now, but it’s still standing in Saigon. 

My dad did a year in Paris to study a pre-university business course. He actually studied at the Sorbonne. By then, though, 1975 happened, and he joined his family in Boston. Which is where my parents met. 

I’m happy that my parents have remained interested in Vietnam, and been motivated to return to visit. I can’t say the same for my extended family.